Circles of Communication

Everyone who has ever been around babies knows that they communicate from the very beginning. Who can ignore a new-born's cry? I've not met that person yet. Whether we are the parents, grandparents, or just someone else in the room, an infant's cry gets an immediate response from us.

As infants grow, their communication skill grows as well. Long, long before we hear words from a baby, they are involved in communicating with us. They smile and we smile back. They reach out for a toy and we give it to them. They object loudly when we put them in the stroller because we're done on the playground. This rudimentary communication is the basis of language. Long before babbling starts, babies are learning how to communicate. The stronger they build their communication skills before language appears, the better communicators they will be.

Stanley Greenspan in his book called How to Build a Healthy Mind talks at length about circles of communication. A baby smiles at his dad and dad says "You're so happy right now!" A baby throws her bottle from her high chair and mom says "You must be all done. Do you want some more or do you want to get down?" A grandpa claps his hands and his grandchild claps her hands and smiles at him. That makes grandpa smile and say "Wow! Look at you clap!" These are circles of communication.

Dr. Greenspan also talks about how to work to help the baby expand these circles of communication by not responding immediately, but asking for more from the baby. So a baby reaches up for a toy from the shelf. Dad says "Looks like you want a toy." He picks up a toy he thinks is not the right choice and says "Do you want this one?" The baby continues to point at the shelf and may babble, "Da da!" "Oh, you mean you want that one! OK, here you go." Dad has helped his baby exercise her communication skills.

Since I read about this idea of the importance of watching for circles of communication between babies and those who care for them, I have been looking for them in our baby and toddler rooms. Here's an example of what I see. A baby was getting to know his new teacher. The teacher was holding the baby on her lap facing her. She was moving her tongue in her mouth and making mellow sounds. The baby was fascinated! He watched her closely. Then she stopped. He reached his hand to her mouth still concentrating very hard and stroked her lips. She started making the sound again and again stopped. The baby stroked her cheek and made some similar sounds himself! Both were engaged in a very genuinely pleasurable interaction. I just a few moments I watched two complete circles of communication between this teacher and baby. A positive, affectionate relationship was being built before my eyes and some great communication exercise was going on as well. Inspiring!